


the color blue

by LaneyLoo



Series: tom and his colors [1]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Depression, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Sorta Happy Ending, depressed thoughts, edd n matt are just trying to help, heLLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE-, lots of colors, relaxation kinda, talks about colors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-10 19:42:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12918915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaneyLoo/pseuds/LaneyLoo
Summary: tom has problems.





	the color blue

**Author's Note:**

> hey, i'm not dead! the lowercase is on purpose, btw.

falling.

falling into an endless void

with nothing to grasp to

and nobody to call 

is what true sadness feels like.

 

depression is like

a spiraling cycle of neverending pain

that's all in your head

and nobody can hear you scream.

 

_you weren't worth it anyways._

 

empty liquor bottles were strewn across the entirety of your room just like the thoughts in your head that seem to be everywhere at once. thoughts that won't go away no matter how many times you take those pills or drink yourself to sleep.

not that it matters.

shuffling out of your room was always a challenge. hell, getting up itself was difficult. there would be times where you couldn't bring yourself to move and you'd just lie there for days on end with the door locked and-

you're worrying them.

the ones in green and purple. you always thought they were pretty colors. comforting, the colors of natural open space and the other of a soft lilac.

you hated red.

red was a color of death. it was overwhelming. red was like stumbling around and choking on your own words, unable to say anything because the color put you too much on edge and you hated it, you hated it so much, you wish red could just _go away._

not that blue was much better.

blue matched you well. a color that could seem both calm but also sad. blue was exactly how you felt everyday for god knows how long-

you always thought green and purple would be better off themselves, without red and blue to intrude on the calmness they've maintained for years. pretty colors like them would be better off to stay pretty. because after all,

blue and red were ugly colors. clashing colors. colors that should never be together.

which is exactly what happened.

your two friends knock on the door, you decide against answering. you give a half-assed mumble, not even caring if they could hear you or understand you, because couldn't they see that you deserved to be alone and left to die just like-

that one ugly color.

you push those thoughts away, just like what you always do.

when was the last time you ever felt alive? the last time you were ever truly happy?

it's been a while.

you lay there immobilized. you turn your head to the side. you note the way your room looks... shattered glass from throwing bottles at the wall. 

after all, your feats of anger could never go unnoticed. 

the knocking is back. you can feel your words stuck in your throat, you're choking, you want them to go away and never come back and be happy and-

the door clicks. they open it slowly.

the softening color of lilac comes into your field of vision... you nearly sigh in comfort. you missed that color dearly-

green then comes into view. your vision is getting blurry, why can't you see?

you feel a cold, wetness hit your cheek. your throat is closing, you can't swallow, you can't breathe... you're crying again.

_pathetic_

green and purple come closer, you feel warmth wrapped around your body. the last time you felt this was when that particular ugly color-

you stop and enjoy the moment.

after all

_when was the last time you felt enjoyment?_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading; this was kinda a vent work. hope it didn't hit too close to home or anything-
> 
> comments, kudos, and bookmarks are always appreciated!


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